January 2012
1 post
“I’m just about as good as they come. But then again, I’m also as bad...”
November 2011
1 post
As a Man...
I don’t want to find a girl to help me masturbate.no.no.no.no.I can do that plenty fine myself thank you. I don’t want to find a girl I can cry on. I’ve got a mother for that grave or not. and I don’t want to find a girl for me to live. I’m doing that already. What I want. What I want. What I want. What. Is to find…a girl…who can help pleasure me deep...
October 2011
1 post
“I want to write something more interesting than sex.”
August 2011
3 posts
Now i can start searching again…
Usagi Now
White lines chase across my forehead. Crossing beneath the lies I once told to myself. To convince the person within that the truth made of fluff fantasies never existed. The things which I once took as real seemed so brittle once I got a hold of them. Their glowing radiance turned to ash upon my touch. Was it these nervous, trembling extensions of mine that cause your fragile existence to...
July 2011
6 posts
again.
She came to me in a dream again. It’s been a while. I must say, I was a bit relieved to see her. But at the same time, her appearance troubles me some. I’d thought I had forgotten all about her by now. That I had left her behind some closed door. I guess not. Above all else, you can’t lie about your own dreams. But for one who is trying to find himself, why did the dream have to...
Twisted Desires
I am fascinated by your beauty. Even more so by your ugly. Indeed, I lust for the grotesque, as it’s nature beckons my curiosity. Your vulgar figure tempts my masochistic urges. I take pleasure in raping your suffering and pains. Your sinful pleasures bask me in rapture. I revel in guiltless ecstasy as your regrets consume you. And my avarice only craves for more of your allure. For it is...
“Words seem beautiful when you don’t know from where it came.”
“Listening to music is like having casual sex: you repeat it so much that it...”
River Flows in You - Yiruma
June 2011
2 posts
“I giveth her, that which she needs: The truth. I hideth her, that which she...”
All state of mind
cmaeo:
You’ll never know till you try.
Just as pain is only in the mind. So as love.
It’s only real when you feel it. It’ll make sense.
For the rest, its temporary.
May 2011
6 posts
Trail of Corpses: Epilogue II
Wow. That would mark the first time I’ve ever heard my father seriously talk about his past. Back at McDonalds, Long-ge, Mei and I remain silent after listening to his past. Baba grabs onto his chest as if he was having a heart attack. Long-ge reaches over to him and asks if Ba is alright. Baba waves his hand in response. Raising his head and looking at me dead in the eye he says, “I want you to...
Trail of Corpses: Trauma
Shit. That’s where I’m at. That’s where my whole family and a handful of survivors are at. The end of our luck. The bottom of the barrel. With our backs against the wall. And I’m not just saying that. We’re literally up against a cliff. Everyone hanging on the tops of trees like monkeys. And all around us is death. Up the cliff, several leagues away are the communist Khmer Rouge who would rather...
Trail of Corpses: Epilogue I
“Wake up son! Wake up,” Baba calls while yanking the sheets away from me. Half awake I start to get up wondering what the commotion’s about. I open my eyes to see my old man standing at my doorway looking down on me. Dressed in his usual maroon-colored-business-dress-shirt, he impatiently taps on the wall with his index finger. The scowl on his face almost looks like it could turn into a smile at...
“Accept everything for what it is and only then can you see clearly for the first...”
“YES, I admit my art, in words, image or in song, is self-gratifying...”
April 2011
7 posts
“Too long ago to remember. Too soon to forget.”
Dreams of Her
I’m starting to have dreams of her again. Every time I do, I wake and forget what it was about. Only fragments remain, like scattered blurred photographs. I remember she was there, but I never see her face. She was smiling, but at the same time, she was very sad. I don’t know why. And its almost as if she was looking at me, but never meeting my eyes. She was warm, but everything felt...
See the world with a lucid eye and you’ll realize that living is the same as doing evil. As we live, we take more than we can ever possibly give. Countless lives sacrificed for the sake of sustaining our meager existence. Stories ended. Efforts wasted. Wills, hopes and dreams cast aside at the folly of our fantasy. At roads end, justice is only a self satisfying patriotism to which master...
“I think it would be great if people enjoyed earning money more than spending...”
– Takizawa Akira - Eden of the East
Moh: “The heart may be strong but the will can abandon it. Have you not felt this yourself? No, your will and your heart are not in conflict. It is what gives you strength and draws people to you.” Pirogreth: “My will is not always as strong as I need it to be. It has failed many who have come to me.” Moh: “Exhausting your will by pleasuring an army of lovers is not a...
Tetris
Life is a lot like Tetris: an endless challenge without a conclusive end, pointless and futile leading only to our demise. Yet we find satisfaction in the little accomplishments we make to stall for that end. Some small, some great. And with each stroke we clear, the cracks within the window of life open up to set a path anew where even more challenges await. And even though we see our end, we...
March 2011
9 posts
“The perfect drug has accepted or omitted side effects.”
“If trust is life’s currency, then business is a swindling tax, lust is...”
“Introduce me to a true patriot and I’ll call him either a genuine fool or...”
“The rules didn’t matter, and anyway, the only ones left for me to break are my...”
– Unknown (via bitemesweet)
“Somewhere along they way, we forgot who we were and focused more on who we...”
Writhe
We dream. We dream about what we want. We dream about what we fear. We dream about who we love and hate, respect and despise. We dream about things that have meaning to us. Sometimes we even dream about the past. What we dream is who we are. Like looking into the reflection of a mirror. But no, the frame holding in that mirror isn’t enough to encompass “you”, is it? When we dream, it feels more...
Here but Not
You’re here, but I can’t see you.
The elegant grace that brought light into my eyes.
You’re here, but I can’t hear you.
The sweet melody that resonated with mine.
You’re here, but I can’t feel you.
The gentle warmth that comforted my soul.
You’re here, but I can’t reach you.
The invisible distance that split us apart.
You’re here, but...
February 2011
2 posts
Winter
It’s cold. My hands, frozen and numb. My head leaning against the frigid glass. I sit beside a windowsill, as large as I am. My every breath blankets the surface with white fog. The window outside is stained with patches of water and frost. I gaze beyond the glass to witness a world of white. The earth is covered in a blanket of ice. The trees, lifeless and gray, scatter about the frozen tundra...
“Live as I live. Feel as I feel. See what I see. Dream what I fear. And maybe,...”
January 2011
2 posts
“Scream and shout. Break, destroy, thrashing about. Everyone ignores you. Bowing...”
Wings
Where are your wings? What do they look like? How do they fly? Does the rhythm of each flap match the beat of your heart? Do you take flights of fancy, or journeys of sorrow? Are your wings free, or are they caged? Locked down to earth, or rustling to the slightest flow of new wind? How far can they take you, or rather, how far do you want to go with them? And where? To the peaks of glory, or...
December 2010
2 posts
“I can give you the world, but promise you nothing.”
“Sometimes people only take notice of you once you call out desperately for help...”
November 2010
2 posts
“Too honest to lie. Too lost to know the truth. Too guided to be lost. To...”
A Shitty Evening
It was a simple event. Something that could happen anytime, anywhere. It just happened to involve me. Don’t misunderstand me; I didn’t want to get involved. I didn’t go strolling into that store in the middle of the night to be a hero or anything. I just wanted my cola. But noooo. Someone just had to lose their mind and try to rob the convenience store. Why couldn’t they just wait another day or...
October 2010
2 posts
“Family is important. Love is even more precious. But for freedom, both can be...”
– Grandfather [Source apparently William Shakespeare]
No Title. Simple Blog. Simply Me.
I’ve always been fascinated with relationships and love. But it seems I’ve developed a fear of it. Four fears.
1. Creating a bond of trust to that degree, and the possibility of losing it to the tides of life.
2. Attaining that of which i have desperately dreaming/seeking for the last 7 years and to see nothing beyond who i am afterword.
3. To use and abuse someone who put their...
September 2010
11 posts
“People may forget what you said or did, but they will always remember how you...”
“It’s far easier to form an opinion than to understand the truth.”
Chase of Time
A bench. I sit down. Around me are crossroads of light. Intercepting one another like shooting stars. Brilliant lights pass by, blending, melding and traversing the great scene before me. And all there is within this great void is a single bench made of maple. This is the 363rd time. For what reason was I sitting here now? I’d forgotten. For what reason does this bench exist? I don’t know. Why did...
Just Another Fairy Tale
In a kingdom far away lived two orphans, a boy of fate and a girl who smelled of flowers. The two orphans were residents of the church since a very young age. And till the age of 6, they remained together, refusing to separate. That is till the King entered that very church seeking an heir. He chose the boy among the lot dragging him away from the church, despite the boy’s cries of refusal. And...